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Resolutions for life

by | Apr 21, 2024

“Aliya! Remember your New Year resolution: NO birds, NO fighting!”

That’s my husband, having made the above resolution for out cat and now – naturally! – having to remind her nearly every time she goes out (which is what, twenty times a day, she says? and it only seems like a hundred? My cat-people friends, you’ll understand!)

Me: “Did she even agree?” – “Yes, she nodded her head!” (No way she did.) I am curious just how long this will continue for. But there must be some mischievous pleasure in making resolutions for another, eh?

Do you do this *to yourself*? Do you make NY Resolutions? Birthday resolutions? Perhaps, the-first-day-of-(blank) resolutions? I don’t; I perceive it to be something dangerously close to self-torture.

If this way of approaching life works for you, I am thrilled! (Let me know how you do it!) If it doesn’t, and you eventually give up on the idea/plan/dream only to try again later, do you know why it didn’t work the first time?

The reason is this, and it is both simple and yes, powerful. We build what we could call our structure, character, and all, within and around ourselves (a.k.a. “our life”) for years and years. What this structure “sits” on is *our beliefs. *

The thing is most of the beliefs that rule our choices we are not even aware of.

Here is an example: some of us happened to learn early on that abundance equals being unsafe. (That could happen if one of our parents used to get themselves – and their family – into some kind of trouble every time they got their hands on $$$.) Not being an obvious or common notion, to put it softly, it quietly lurks in the shadows of our subconsciousness.

And guess what happens then when we try to seriously “uplevel” ourselves in the material world? We sabotage ourselves. It might be something innocent like “for some reason, I overslept and missed that meeting,” or we get out of sorts and behave in a way that damages our prospects, or (a frequent one!) we “just happen” to get sick and rendered unmovable as things get closer to the big bright future.

Or, and this one is trumping everything else and is likely the most disguised thief of our happiness, our “intuition” suddenly tells us that it would be wrong for us to continue the way we were going.

Yet what is really happening is that we are undermining ourselves. We keep re-creating our life according to the outdated, unsuitable for our now programs – those very beliefs. And you know what happens to your computer if you insist on keeping the old software as more and more new apps come in: earlier or later, it stalls.

But despite provoking some immediate resistance, and perhaps even resentment, in you as you read this, this is actually a very good news! Because is easier to get results in changing ourselves than anybody else, as everyone who is above 35 will have already discovered.

If it is us who keeps creating the mess we are in, then we can find the way to change it!

Yes, we can let go of the undermining our happiness beliefs. I can teach you how.

 

A version of this post first appeared on Faceboon on 6 January 2024.